Of Love and Loss and to be Truly Living the Moment

I HAVE done a lot of thinking in the recent days. Not that I wanted to but for some reasons, my mind was always on thinking mode most of the times especially as I was on my morning walk.

As I was enjoying the morning breeze, the quietness of the area…the chirping birds were the only company I have on my morning walks. And I treasured that alone-but-not-lonely moments very much. Well apart from occasional general workers passing by as they were about to start working in the vicinity.

I know a few faces but for the life of me I do not know their names.

We did exchange pleasantries and smiles or waved our hands as we crossed each other’s paths…

As I was thinking about my life (as you are about to reach the awesome age of 50 in less than a year’s time this reflective mode comes rather regularly mind you). It got me thinking that the eventuality of loss always exists when we feel love – either for a person, a thing, or an experience. This makes love all that much more precious. It’s a fragile, beautiful experience to be treasured.

I have lost my dad,  then six years later I have lost my husband.

And I realised there’s no way around it. To be truly living – fully experiencing love and beauty – it is a risky business.

To be truly living, it means choosing to explore new territory and make ourselves vulnerable. The experience of being in the moment with a deep sense of connection can be powerful – both in breathing the exhilarating feeling of life into you, as well as putting you at risk for a deeply painful loss. But if we let them, beauty, love, and loss all represent opportunities for personal growth and living life fully.

The eventuality of loss always exists when we feel love – either for a person, a thing, or an experience. This makes love all that much more precious. It’s a fragile, beautiful experience to be treasured.

But sometimes we are overcome – even paralysed – by the feared or expected pain associated with that loss. So we try to protect ourselves against the pain.

We may try our might  to hold tight to the moment, such as by taking a picture. To immortalise those precious moments.

Or on rather sad case, to make sure that a relationship stays positive, we were avoiding conflict at all costs.This was I what I went through in my recent relationship. Unfortunately, these efforts by avoiding conflicts eventually break the living precious connection, making the relationship seems “unreal” and not fully-lived. No matter how “stable” and “free-of-fights” the relationship was.. It wasn’t meant to be. People may tend to the object; looking at their photograph — or doing everything “right” for their partner – but they are no longer fully open and connected. Inevitably, the love dies…A