Men From Mars… Possibly
It is a universal knowledge that men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships. Whether social conditioning or their inability to communicate their needs are to blame, men (who tend to be the quiet partner in the relationship) are prone to silently suffering when their emotional needs aren’t being met by their partners.
Combining what my friends told me and what I read from various relationship-related articles, here I put together things that men want in a relationship. Well, the list is pretty much cover everything but take it with a pinch of salt please, as no one size does fit all…
- Praise And Approval – Believe it or not, men like reassurance about themselves, be it their career paths, sexual prowess, their attractiveness their role as our partners. Tell him how attractive you find it when he says something a certain way, when he accomplishes something. Your praise will help him feel loved.
- Respect – Men feel respect as love. If he feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you.
- A Sense Of Sexual Connection – Men and women both connect through sex and communication, but generally, women connect better through verbal communication and men connect better through sex. Men, more often than not, connect through indicators of sexuality just as much as they do through sex. Talk with your partner and ask what specifically helps them feel the most loved so you can avoid these unintentional standoffs.
- Emotional Intimacy – From a very young age, men are taught to avoid appearing weak at all costs. Perceived “weakness” includes things like complaining, divulging fears or concerns, and expressing self-doubt or worry. We, women, as a man’s partner, is his safe space to fall. He can expose the cracks in his armour and allow us to help him heal.
- Admiration – Guys typically love admiration, but there is a catch to this. It has to be sincere. Guys seem to have a radar to catch any insincere compliment you give them. But as long as you are telling him something you genuinely appreciate about him, he will be very pleased to hear it.
- Companionship – Men like the companionship of the woman they care about. He likes having you around and that is a really great thing. Sure, he needs his guy time but he likes spending time with you, too.
- Arm Candy – Men appreciate when the woman in their life takes time to look her best. Just putting some effort out there to look your best is enough and you can trust that you will look great in his eyes when you do. Wear something he likes to see you in and watch when he notices the effort you made.
- Space/Independence – But rest assured, suffocating a man (either by failing to allow him free time or with overly jealous behaviour) is the fastest way to end a relationship. Men need breathing room in a relationship. They need time for hobbies, friends, and time to toil away on projects to feel fulfilled. When men have a problem to solve, they would leave the tribe to be alone with their thoughts. So let him roam. Let him breathe. Leave him to his own devices.
- Physical Touch – Just like us, women, men need frequent non-sexual touch as well as a sense of sexual connection. If we come up behind him and touch his neck and hair in a loving way while he sits absorbed in a task, he could feel just as loved. This touch is interpreted as physical love.
- Security – Men and women are both attracted to certainty in a relationship. The more a man feels like his partner is in it for the long haul, the more ready and able he is to be able to open up to her (assuming he is equally invested in her). But security goes deeper than just the fact that you won’t leave him. The security that he feels ties back in to several of these points. He feels secure in knowing that you approve of him and where he is in his career. He feels secure and loved when you touch him non-sexually throughout the day. He feels secure when you don’t feel the need to call or text him every half hour to check in. And he feels secure with a partner who takes steps to love him in the way that he most needs.
- Recognition – Sometimes, men have to play many different roles and they do a lot for their friends and families. Take time to mention these things to the man in your life so he knows that you recognise what a good son, brother, friend, boyfriend, husband or father he is. Men rarely get recognised for all that they do for others and he’s sure to appreciate the recognition.
- Support – We all need a good support network and men are no different. Let him know that you’re behind him all the way and no matter how far-fetched the goal might seem to you, if it’s important to your guy, he wants it to be important to you, too.
- Desired – Even if you think he knows you want him, show him anyway! Men want to feel desired and when he doesn’t feel wanted by you, it can get to his confidence. Flirt with him, let him know that you’re excited by him and that you feel lucky to be with him!
- A Pleasant Tone Of Voice – Men appreciate a pleasant tone of voice with the woman they are in a relationship with, and really, don’t we all? All of us appreciate a nice, friendly tone of voice. In fact, it is something that we can work on with everyone in our life. People respond much better to one another when they are speaking and hearing a kind tone of voice.
So guys, do you agree with the lists or things to disagree upon? And you may have a thing or two to add-on, I will be more than happy to hear it from you… A