Online Dating: Pros and Cons
I fell in love a few times with someone I met online. My beloved late husband John, is one of them. Yes I met my soul mate online. Despite the fact that I spent 23 years of my life meeting people from all walks of life, from different parts of the world via my job as a journalist, and yet I met my true love online.
But my happy ending doesn’t dismiss one of the biggest problems with meeting people online: They could be anyone, from the good to the bad, from the honest to the scammer, from the genuine to the fake. All in one and to sort one from another is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You may get poke and bleed until you find the honest and genuine ones. Sad, yes, but true.
The only information we have about them is the messages they write and the photos they provide. It’s an ideal example of how someone can be perfect on paper (or onscreen), to be utterly incompatible with you face-to-face.
Lets pretend that you actually find someone who is interesting enough online, NOT a scammer, and after exchanging phone calls and emails, please be aware that just like dating offline, the Internet dating offers both positive and negative consequences.
1. Pro: Plenty of choices. We have a wide range of choices when it comes to finding a partner. A wonderful change from the old days of dating when it used to be hard just to meet people in general let alone to meet potential partners.
2. Pro: Great news is we don’t have to dress up to go out unless we really want to. We can easily going through profiles online and find out everything about the person. And then we decide.
3. Pro: After getting to know a person online or talking to them on the phone, your first date should be a breeze, regardless if there’s a chemistry or not.
4. Pro: Dating online we can be very specific about we need and want and the process of screening will get us past the guessing stage.
5. Pro: You can find out just about anything you want to know these days by using a combination of online profiles, Google searches, Facebook and other social media. Easy peasy.
Though now that everything is seem under our control, don’t let that blind side us of the reality on the ground, so to speak.
6. Con: No surprises. That is if you are into surprises. In my case, I prefer familiarity and not keen of having (unwanted) surprises at all.
7. Con: No excitement. Since you already know the guy you are about to meet.
8. Con: Not for real. It is all fluff and there’s a chance that the real thing may not be a good match. An intense sense of disappointment and wasted time and money is possible. Indeed.
9. Con: No mystery. Everything (well, almost) is laid out in the open that you feel like you already know him or her.
10. Con: Just like above, it is just too much information. Having access to all of that knowledge about someone will not only eliminate mystery, but it can backfire if there is too much information.
If we find out too much about a person before meeting them we may make a judgement based on incomplete or inaccurate knowledge. So try your best not to Google his or her name. Just go out, have nice clean fun. If there’s chemistry between two of you, great. If not, don’t despair as you gain a new friend anyway. Be positive and don’t put your hope too high.
I can only recommend match.com and okcupid (from personal experience) but there are plenty of sites that you can check out. Just Google them. But here’s a bit of advice, regardless which site you decide to go to, just be extra careful on who you are corresponding with and also please be aware, we may be honest here but we can’t be too sure about the other party right? Just be careful at all time and enjoy the experience.
And here’s an alternative for you guys who are particular about the aspects of halal and haram, I have just heard about this new “trend/site”… For the curious, you can visit halalspeeddating.com and you can then tell me all about your experiences there… A