Too Tired To Write

TODAY as I walked into my room after a long and tiring day at work, I run through my inbox on my phone and see an email from a very dear friend in Basel and it makes me all teared up.

You see this friend of mine is a shy person. Even though he wanted to leave comments, in the end he was shying away from it all.

But he has been visiting this blog on daily basis. He said, visiting my blog keep him updated on what’s going on in my life. How sweet.

He also said that from a few of my posts, they did trigger a lot of emotions in him especially post about Adam as it reminded him so much of his childhood, losing his dad when he was only nine.

And today’s email was about him getting worried on why I haven’t written anything since November 6. Exactly five days ago.

As a novice blogger that I am, reading emails and comments from friends like him, people who I really admire and respect, have always been heartwarming moments to savour. He was one of several friends who have emailed me privately, WhatsApp or left comments on my page. Whatever the medium they chose, their precious time and kind words kept me going. They can’t possibly know how much their words meant to me. I truly cherish them.

Another girlfriend from my early years at The Star, turned up here on the site. The last time I saw her was 20 years ago. And this blog “reunite” us so to speak. I am humbled and touched with her precious time and kinds words.

Seriously though, I haven’t written much since my last post on English language and the recently posted Duncan Cottage.

tumblr_mnqgd7kwuS1st72rvo1_400The truth was I was scribbling something everyday. Yes everyday. For the past five days. But for some reasons, those scribbles didn’t evolve into a full-blown posts. They were all left idle in the draft section.

Am I getting writer’s block? Can’t be!

I guess I went through quite a rough patch in the past five days. On personal front, one of very dear friends will be celebrating his birthday tomorrow, Nov 12th. And I know for a fact that he’s not really happy about his upcoming birthday. On the other hand, someone very close to me is facing tough time caring for his elderly parents.

These two have been my source on inspiration (to write) apart from my son Adam. With this two are facing their own challenges on the other sides of the world, I wasn’t really inspired to write anything. Besides, I have no one to proofread my posts…

To make matter worse, my job has taken 360 degree turn since Friday last week. I should look at it as a very positive sign because now I am handling a customer with three different purchase orders (in the next one month) for exports to the USA and South Korea.

It is crazy and learning on the job is what I am doing now. I have to be quick, alert and grasp some business terms as much as I can. I just can’t afford to screw things up.

My head is spinning, worried that I may screw things up. A lot to learn when most negotiation and discussion are conducted in Chinese. I wish I learn the language long time ago… Damn! Stupid me!

When my boss was half-teasing me about learning Chinese, I couldn’t agree more!

quote-writercharacterreader1-470x382And when I get home I can’t really talk about it to anyone since my two sounding boards aren’t available as much as they would have been in normal circumstances.

The truth is, since I quit my media’s job more than a year ago I don’t really mix around much. I hardly contacted my friends in KL except occasionally on FB and WhatsApp. After losing my long time close girlfriend the painful way I was just shying away from everyone.

I was relying a lot on my friendship with these two in my daily life and struggles. They would be the first people I contacted whenever I felt upset or happy here.

And now as I am struggling with new responsibility at work, they just happen to be facing their own challenges.

I would finish a couple more posts on Sunday as I will have free time by then. Till then, I am afraid my blog have to wait.

I need to focus on my job because this task is very important. This is the chance to prove myself. They have been watching me struggling, picked me up whenever I fall and continue to cheer me up to get to where I am now… I can’t afford to give up and I won’t! A